You Need To Know Who You Are

Most find it easy to list what they want in a mate!! However, what about your own qualities? What traits do you have that will help you contribute to a successful relationship? What type of husband or wife will you be? Do you freely admit your mistakes and accept advice, or are you always defensive when corrected? Are you generally cheerful and optimistic, or do you tend to be gloomy, frequently complaining? Marriage will not change your personality. If you are proud, oversensitive, or overly pessimistic when single, you will be the same when married.

To marry without a strong sense of self worth and personal identity means that you will spend your life trying to become somebody, usually by attaching yourself to your spouse's identity. If your spouse also has an identity problem, then you have double trouble. You need to know who you are and be secure and complete and whole within yourself before you get married. If you know who you are .. if you have a good self-image.. you won't need anyone in order to be someone. Then you will have prepared well for the fourth love from the original language of the christian Greek scriptures, the word for this fourth kind of love is AGAPE; an unselfish concern for doing to others what is right and good from HIS standpoint, whether the recipient appears to deserve it or not..

Sometimes it’s just the little slights and daily agitation thoughts of ignoring that need forgiveness, the occasional sharp word or angry accusation. But we harbor it, let it eat at us, and build up bitterness and resentment which erodes our relationship. There is no way to avoid it. But every time they do, we must first remind ourselves that we really did forgive, then rehearse how much God has forgiven us, then ask Him to take the destructive, unforgiving thoughts out of our minds. A strong relationship will be strong enough to survive just about any challenge even distance. So if you discover your relationship can't survive a period of living far apart, don't feel too bad. As much as it may hurt to admit it, it's probably better to move on. Remember that your wedding lasts just one day but your marriage lasts a lifetime..

Well Mista...my few cents on this issue is this:

If you are true to SELF and you present urself that way, it is the option of the person interested to ACCEPT or REJECT you. Marriage or commitment is secondary bc how can you make anyone else happy if you aren't happy with urself?

So many people get caught up with changing bc they want to view themselves through the eyes of "relationship status" and not through the "real view" which is SELF. If you do that at the beginning, there's really no need to change or attach urself to anyone else.

YOUR perfect mate accepts you....flaws and all. They know WHO you are and WHOSE you are...and respects you in all those aspects. PERIOD.