What Makes a "Marriage" a "Marriage"

From the moment you say "I do", you are no longer ONE in the singular. Your eternal mate...the mate you have confessed ur undying love and commitment to...in front of family and friends and GOD... becomes ONE with you. You have vowed to love this person for better or worse....in sickness and in health...till death do you part.... Or so the vows say.... Do you really think of the commitment involved in those words, or are they considered part of the regular wedding routine?  

Just days ago, a close friend and I were having a conversation about marriage (or lack of) and the question "What makes a marriage a marriage?" surfaced.  Being a recent divorcee', I instantly had a list of things....lol...but then I stopped and asked myself, did  I have those same things in mind while I was STILL in the marriage? And surprisingly....while some of them remained, most didn't.    

Marriage is many different things to many different couples.  Some view it as a lifelong commitment to the one they love...unconditionally...and no matter what, they will make it work. Others view it as a decision made too hastily...a decision that unfortunately cannot be undone...a decision that needs a little "tweaking" to make it work--lol---u know...someone on the side that is willing to accommodate "ur situation".... But the fact remains that marriage should be the same across the board.  A sacred commitment....  

Marriage is work...(well for those who have challenges) ... and those who don't.. Well...they view it as their dedication to their mate. It's progress. Marriage shouldn't be a playing ground to put ur mate's weakness on blast....nor should it be an opportunity for u point out ur strengths in lieu of their struggle. It should be combining those factors...because....remember... you are ONE.  

There are breakdowns in every marriage.....So please don't think I’m saying that it's not a possibility...What I am saying is, think before you say I do....and if you have already said it...give it the time...give it the effort...reach back to the TRUE reason you said I DO... 

What makes a marriage a marriage? In my (Ro) opinion....Prayer, honesty, respect and communication. Prayer that God leads ur marriage....Be Honest enough to admit ur faults....Respect ur spouse and their beliefs....and Communicate when things aren’t right. And after you've done ALL those things....I mean TRULY tried...and it still doesn't work...THEN, consider leaving...with NO REGRETS. Once you leave, things will never be the same.

RO I was thinking, What does maintaining such a relationship entail? Well we've blog about commitment... which I think is a vital factor. But here's how the marriage relationship is biblically described "A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) and the only scriptural basis for divorce with the possibility of remarriage..."fornication" that is, illicit sex relations outside the marriage. (Matthew 19:9) 

So, first of all before you are .... or even thinkng  and contemplating marriage... I'm first going to bear these scriptural standards in mind. If i'm not ready for this solemn commitment...then I can assure you... your marriage will not be a marriage and you are not ready for marriage. The idea of a solemn commitment frightens many. Knowing that the two of you would be stuck together for life.... can sometime make you feel pushed into a corner, closed in, totally confined. 

But if you really love the person you intend to marry, commitment will not seem like a burden. Instead, it will be viewed as a source of security. The sense of commitment implied in marriage will make a marriage feel more secure.... and make a couple want to stay together through good times and bad and to be supportive of each other come what may.... bearing all things and enduring all things. That's Mista's 13 to "I love the comfort of having admitted to ourselves and the world that we intend to stick together."(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)