Friday, June 15, 2012

Time Vs. Relationships: Is there a Balance?



How much time should a couple be spending together while dating?

Your relationships should always benefit and enhance your life. If you're doing worse in school because you stay up all night talking on the phone, your relationship may be out of balance. If you're consistently late to work because you want to spend every last second with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you may need to step back and reevaluate how much time you spend together.

You may want to curb how much time you spend on the phone, which could be tough when you first meet. Extended calls can eat up massive amounts of your time. Make sure your calls are balanced with the rest of your life. In addition, don't let a relationship cause you to miss out on other important opportunities or activities, don't miss out on the other relationship in your life. If your family and friends suddenly become nonentities in your daily life, you're missing out on some valuable companionship.

Balance all the aspects of your life.... because a boyfriend or girlfriend can't be everything for you. The key to the balance... is that all your relationships should always benefit and enhance your life... if you balance the time you spend on your relationship with the time you spend on other things, you'll fine yourself even keeled. Then if it happen to not workout, you won't have compromised your other relationships or goals.

Mista's 13 secret: You'll also place greater value on your time together if you don't have as much of it. You'll look forward to each moment you get to spend with each other instead of taking it for granted... if you don't believe me ask, RO.... our friendship struggled in this area in the beginning....

Being a single mother, my time is very limited.  Working a full-time job, (that I commute 45 minutes to everyday) taking care of home, and raising two girls doesn't give me much wiggle room when it comes to time.  It seems that almost every second of my day is consumed.  No matter how I try to "reorganize" my schedule, there is NEVER enough time in the day. First one up, last one to sleep....lol...I need a clone...and chances are, my clone will need one too.  :) ...okay...I digress.

I haven't dated much since I've been single. Mostly because I don't really have the time to invest into making a relationship work. I don't believe in bringing new "potentials" around my girls bc if it doesn't work, I don't wanna have to explain why he's no longer around. Sounds crazy...but I feel like it's necessary.  (we blogged about that in MEET the KIDS)

To create to balance, u first have to have communication. So....in order for ur mate or potential mate to determine if he/she can handle how much time ur able to give, they have to know what's going on in ur life!!! Plain and simple.

Most my relationships are based on texting. Texting is not only my preferred form of communication, it's the most convenient. Im not saying I don't like to talk....bc I do...it's just that texting comes in handy when Im doing a thousand things with a thousand people....and it lets the other person know that YES Im hearing u and you are important too. Those that can relate---well...those that WANT to relate-- they stick around...others, they bounce...(Kanye shrug)...it is what it is. Do I make time for visits? Yes... Do I make time for phone calls? Yes... But it's not something that always happens.  Im a MOTHER first, so, my girls take priority....I know some of you won't agree...and that's cool....Im just saying what applies to ME.

Mista understands...kmsl...and could probably tell you some stories...touch and go phone calls, threatening the kids in the middle of a phone conversation, calling right back turning into calling days later...lol Still, he understands.  If you have the time to invest into ur mate/friendship, by all means.....DO IT.  I would love to have the balance of work, home, kids and the mate...it just doesn't work for me.

My recommendation is this: Strategize (know ur priorities and give them all order) Communicate (keep ur person in the loop) and Finalize ( u know what needs to be done, uve communicated it to ur person, and now u work towards BALANCE...) Remember: There's only ONE you. 

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