Being stubborn is not always bad...

Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Your priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded like the king piece on the chess board of life. But too often we debate over piddling things, like were to change the oil in the car or the choice of restaurants. It's so unfortunate stubbornness comes as a standard feature with in most relationships. But this blog issue.... I bring to the woman that wants to wed .. The ones that pray for a husband, but have little clue of a man's role in the relationship.

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of respect, love and support. They are to help each other. A suitable helper with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. But, here lies the problem.... some women have a little doubt in God that are approaching the verge of chaos in the present day.

There are many contributing causes... but one I'm convinced most, for whatever reason, disrupt most relationships. I found root understanding in this verse... "like wise you husband, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered "~ Peter.

In this very brief verse, the finger squarely emphasizes on the man's responsibility prime role is that of intelligent leadership. God puts the responsibility of the man to exercise leadership within the home. This doesn't mean he's your daddy or your boss, but if you don't even respect him enough to allow him to influence you as a woman with the simple things like were to get oil changed in your car. Smh, how in hell will you ever choose to love him unconditionally. lol

You see.. If you can't respect a man's heart without monetary value, you won't ... truly ever love him ... as God have designed that very woman to be that suitable to helper. I want all lady's to know a Godfearing man won't ever ... yield his leadership, (thinking) that would fog the clear vision why he even fail in love with you... in the first place. He's not your daddy, but he should be able to influence his household ....and if not, he will soon ... distant you.

Let him love you as Jesus, so loved the church. Caring for the woman's well-being, and protecting her both physically and spiritually.

….. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.( Ephesians 5:22-24 ) As a married woman for the second time, I found new meaning in this scripture. Being raised in a two parent household for 23 years; only to spend my remaining time home under the direction of a single parent…. It made me question “how”… How can someone exist for 23 years with their spouse, supporting and submitting to them, and end up with literally nothing? After all, the Bible says submit….not be stupid….

So…I began my journey in life as a young adult…on a mission to never be that “broken woman.” I was independent, humble and no nonsense. Eventually, the day came that I became “a wife.” I took my vows seriously…or so I thought… I supported my husband in all his endeavors, I boosted his ego, I took care of home…the kids…placing everyone before myself….”I” ran the household. And I let him know it. Needless to say, that marriage ended…..and guess what, I still ended up with literally nothing! Really?! I asked aloud, “Lord…why? I did everything….why?” As I waited for His answer…I began to study my Bible more….started to really receive the Word He was giving me. Amongst the things I learned about myself…was the answer…There is no “me” in marriage….I was to become one with my spouse….and HE was to be Head of the Household…

….I swallowed my humble pie….made the changes I needed to make…and got married again. It started rocky…things were…(to me) far more difficult than the first. He did things “I” didn’t approve of…he said things “I” didn’t like…and he moved the household in the direction “I” didn’t wanna go. You already know, I fought him on it….lol But God stepped in and reminded me “order”…..reminded me that he was only doing as the Bible instructed. As hard as it was…I submitted to my husband….We prayed together…we communicated…and we overcame obstacles that only GOD could fix. I was often told that I was becoming weak…that I shouldn’t have to go to my husband for simple decisions….and as quickly as the words were spoken, they were shut down…

I said all that to say…women submit to your husband. Love him, support him, pray with him and for him….Do what aligns with the Word of God. You may not always understand…but trust that what God allows is always perfect!

We are one...

"Can't understand
Why we treat each other in this way
Taking up time
With the silly silly games we play
We've got our love
And no matter how it's said or done

We are one no matter what we do
We are one love will see us through
We are one and that's the way it is

Sometimes I feel
That we try and make each other sad
The things we do
How we make eachother feel so bad
We've got so much
We could all be having so much fun

We are one from the very start
We are one deep down in your heart
We are one
And that's the way it is".....

Definitely one of my favorite songs. I love the message it yields and the feeling it gives when I hear it. Ironically it applies to most relationships... Most marriages.. It puts it all on "front street" as it should be... Rather than the picking and choosing what we encounter with our egos.

Which brings me to this question.. "Should egos have a place in any relationship?" Sure egos are inevitable... We all have an ego. But should it be the basis of what u share or don't share in the relationship? Does having an ego divide the concept of being one?

 Ahhh, Mrs Me... This is the storm of pride going before destruction.

The "I" or self of any person .... a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves ... Smh, do two walk together unless they agree ? I see it like this... a humble heart has no room for ego or pride or arrogance because it recognizes that all we have and all we are comes from God (for who makes us different from anyone else) And if you did receive it, why carry on as though you did not?

We are all fearfully wonderfully made. Trust when I say ... It's the enemy that tells us we have no value... that we're flawed, but make no mistake about it we have value. We all have a past and a struggle. We're not perfect, we're just forgiven. Besides love lets the other win (wink)... "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others"~Philippians

After all, WE ARE ONE...

"Disagree with dignity"...

"I have fallen out of love with you"... "If you don't want to do it, I can get someone else." It's so simple to read a person in thick of conflict. They're actually saying, I'm not committed to you. I don't love you unconditionally, but only when I'm feeling or if the circumstance is selfishly in my favor. lol, Smh.... Thinking.. the deepest, most heartbreaking ...damage you'll ever do or ever have done to a relationship is most likely in thick of conflict. This is when your pride is strongest. And when you're most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most...... venom. Trust when I say, you better put your foot on the brakes. "Disagree with dignity"... because love only fights fair. "It is better to sit on the corner of the roof than with a contentious woman"~ Proverbs.. This verse is about dealing with conflict in such a way that you come out healthier on the other side. Both of You. Together. You see... I know I need the kind of foundation that's stronger than mere ... friendship or sexual attraction. The kind of something that won't sway by time or circumstance. "Agape love" ... even though, that love which began for the wrong reasons can be restored and redeemed. If.. I'm not your everything.... please replace me, I'm not irreplaceable. Smiling, because I dare to love 1 Corinthians 13.

Wow Mista... Is there really a process where couples can disagree with dignity? lol shaking my head.... Dignity typically checks out the second the argument goes from "I'm not saying anything" to "has this negro lost his mind"?! As much as we wanna take the higher road, the truth of the matter is, we don't. Yes, we say things we shouldn't say... Yes, we point out things we shouldn't show... And we most definitely stop listening when we should listen.  We go into the argument knowing that when it's all over, someone is gonna get mad, there will be a period of silence and then the "make up". It's a vicious cycle. But what people don't admit is, there is some truth to the things you've expressed.... I don't care how many people say they didn't mean it.. THEY REALLY DID. So why lie for the sake of an argument? If more people expressed their feelings regularly, there wouldn't be a need to disagree with dignity. Your mate would know when ur pissed.  Your mate would know when ur feeding them bs. And they definitely would know that even though u love them, u get tired of the same ole ish. Bottom line.. If ur honest with ur mate and u communicate honestly no matter what, those arguments will be few and far between anyway. Save urself the grief.. The headaches.. And take those small body shots. I'd rather take the body shots any day rather than a knockout.... Those are harder come back from. Ijs...

Mista.. Glad ur back :)

How can you submit to him and lean on him?

We are traveling through life unconnected and unexamined, but we're careful to maintain an image suggesting that we're okay when we really aren't. The person we present in public looks all right, while deep inside we harbor great turmoil and conflict. Making a living is not easy in our competitive world. This blog is about the husband..... often faces frustrations, discouragements, and setbacks. Some people take advantage of him, cheat him, and deceive him. Others criticize or censure him.

He'll need someone to encourage him, to appreciate him, to believe in him, and to respect him—and that is why God gave him a wife! He will be able to bear a great deal more hardship in the workaday world if he knows that he has a wife at home who admires him, trusts him, and stands by him, whatever happens. If he gets the same sort of treatment at home that he gets in the working world, he will be tempted to try some form of escape which will lead to unhappiness for all concerned. But the thought of a smile coupled with a little admiration and encouragement will draw him to his home like a magnet. 

Just think as God...... planned for a husband’s love to meet his wife’s needs, so he planned for the wife’s submission to meet her husband’s needs. While a woman’s God-given nature is to be dependent, a man senses an inner urge to take charge. No matter what he says or how he acts, he deeply resents any tactic his wife may use to dominate or manipulate him. Furthermore, a leader must have respect and recognition, and that is exactly what God wants the wife to provide. “The wife must see to it that she deeply respects her husband.”93 God made the husband to lead; the wife must let him lead, treating him as a leader should be treated.

 So ladies if you are thinking.... How can I submit to him and lean on him?” Try it! Try submitting to him as unto the, Lord, in everything. Just obey the Word and entrust the consequences to the Lord! Defer to your husband’s judgment when he really ought to make the decision. Express some confidence in his abilities instead of running him down, ridiculing him, belittling him, or comparing him with other men. Tell him that you think he’s the greatest, and that you thank God for having him to lean on. Then step back.... and watch God use your attitude to make a man out of him, the man God wants him to be a Man of Valor.

A SON'S LOVE

Hi! Thank you for visiting the site. My name is Terence Jones, Debra's son. I wanted to help create this page to raise funds for treatments for my mother. On January 15, 2014. My life as I knew it stopped dead in its tracks. This was the date I received a phone call that my 55 years old mother ,the love of my life, had cancer being diagnosed with one form is scary enough but unfortunately she's been diagnosed with two forms Invasive Carcinoma. Which spread to her axillary to form another form of cancer known as adenocarcinoma, something I had never heard of before. Meet Debra L. Scott a single parent mom to me, but mother to many. Her love truly stretches beyond those who know her. Debra is Known for holiday meals that exceeds expectations and always thinking of those less fortunate then we've been even when other's thought less. She always instilled in us to help those in need. Some of her dreams are to see me and my sister establish tight net families of our own and I refuse to let her dreams for us die.    So now this Cancer, As I said before I've taken a leave of absence from my life. I currently live in Irving Tx but as of the phone call Jan. 15 2014 a date that won't ever leave my mind. I dropped everything to comeback home to Texarkana Tx to be with her to attack and beat this thing with her and be with her every step of the way. I've consumed  myself with research and knowing every last horrible detail about this disease the different treatment options, cost, and outcomes of all. But my MOTHER, Debra has vowed that the "roadblocks" ahead wouldn't stop her life. I know my views are biase in this statement but my mother is possibly the most postive, strongest, and stubborn person I have ever met. Don't get me wrong she has been doing plenty of research through her faith and preparing herself for the tough journey ahead. Knowing their's no guarantee's I now know times like this there is only HOPE and BELIEF. This I know is the exact truth that she wants to share with the world.     Debra, with the help of my sister and I, has looked into many different health and wellness centers as well as cancer treatment facilities that treat people just like her unfortunately the BEST places seem very expensive and not covered by her insurance, but with much research she has narrowed it down to what she believes is the best match for her Oasis Of Hope. This center combines conventional and alternative treatment which is what Debra is ultimately hoping for. My confidences and faith is strong as well but my biggest fear is "time" knowing with everyday that passes without this process being expedited her Cancer is growing.  Please help my family and me get my mother treated and CURED. She truly believes and is at peace with the approaches and path she is taking. When she overcomes this I know that she will continue on her path to help others all over the world ,for this, we cannot wait.No donation is to small, all are welcome and so very appreciated... http://www.gofundme.com/6dbspk