Regain Custody of Yourself First

Is it crazy to seek with purpose, I know what I want… try to keep up with these thoughts that are not like most . I’m just not sharing random thoughts…. Sharing how I am; just stepping into my 40s, regaining custody of yourself after divorce is a journey in itself, so I seek with purpose. I enjoy entertaining a woman however I don’t want to be labeled anyone’s “boyfriend” or feel in any way obligated to just one woman unless we're talking of "Planning to WED"...

We men have some weird ways of proving our manhood, but that's because we have some strange ideas of what it means to be a man. Many of us did not have fathers who took us by the hand, and later stood shoulder to shoulder, to show us the way of the world. Many of us never had a dad acknowledge our manhood, which means we have been locked in a desperate search for someone, or something, that would acknowledge it. There in lies the problem. We spend our lives doing stupid stuff to try to fit in...

Today I will be conscious of the choices that are mine to make. Choosing wisely now..... so that I will make the right decisions throughout the rest of my life and positively impact my own future thoughts of being deeply loved by someone that gives me strength, while loving that someone deeply affecting my courage. I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to that One.

Guarding the treasures of the heart for someone, or something, to just acknowledge me.... I don't think so.... Because I have learned that life will bring unexpected twists and when you feel you've lost all control, NO worries!!! You've only hit life's Potholes on the road to destiny!! Single, Married, Separated, or Life After Divorce.... Regain Custody of Yourself First... and never lose your identity...... because for me.... Love that " bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".... does not come from within. It can only come from G  O  D  ...

You know what I think Mista? Everyone loses a piece of themselves during the course of any relationship.  Whether it's for sincere personal reasons or to please their mate, something is lost.  Recovery of the "right" things...(and by right I mean, FOR YOURSELF...) should begin not after the relationship has ended but immediately after you realized "it" has been lost.

At one time, I was looking at men in my "present"....looking at men from my "past"....even imagining men in my "future"....trying to figure out who would best fit ME. It didn't matter that I was still trying to cope with the fact that so much of my life had been lost based on fear and that I NEEDED to do some "spring cleaning" mentally before I moved on. However....I quickly found that every attempt I made....for some reason or another...was not successful.  This wasn't by chance...or circumstance...it was bc God was trying to tell me in so many actions, I needed to slow down and be patient.

Women are the Number 1 offenders of "Others Love"....Others Love is the act of giving ourselves endlessly to others FIRST and putting ourselves LAST... it's instilled in us. BUT, it's not until we learn that happiness starts with self that we truly begin to regain custody over our lives.

I have decided that THIS time...My choices will become not only choices with thought, but choices of PRAYER and THOUGHT. My mate won't be a compromise....my standards won't be reduced...and I won't live my life scared to take chances. I am who I am (as Mista says) on PURPOSE. Either they will accept me as IS or the deal will never be FINAL. lol IJS...