Relationships are like melons...you choose them by their appearance and feel...and hope they turn out to be sweet. Some do...and some don't. What gets us is how we respond when they don't...
Let me back up...those of you that are actually in a COMMITTED relationship,(not a relationship with someone on the side) have you ever asked urself, "Why am I here?" ...better yet..."Why am I STILL here?" lol The majority of you, if ur true to self, is shaking ur head yes...yes I've asked that question...over and over again. Well, today Im asking....what's ur answer? And...is that a real answer or one based on fear?
I was married for 11 years...together for 12. I got and had just about everything my heart desired; with the exception of TRUE LOVE. The house, the kids, the dog, vacations, family events.....all that. But I wasn't totally happy. I always felt like there was something missing. Of course I went through the motions, tried to make it all work--but eventually all the things that wasn't right--even from the beginning--begin to show.
Yet...I stayed. And I asked myself, "WHY AM I STILL HERE?"...why am I here and unhappy??
My answers were simple. I was there for the kids. (so they could have a two parent home and get the things they want without struggle) I was there bc I couldn't make it alone (rising costs of gas, unemployment and ridiculous costs to rent) and... I was there bc I didn't want to be alone. (I was in love with the thought of being with someone...I wasn't in love!! Sound familiar? Thought so.
I did it for years...and in the process... I lost ME. The ME that still today Im trying to recover. I blogged this today bc I know there are people out there asking themselves the same thing...convincing themselves that it's ok to be in a verbally abusive relationship...a physically abusive relationship..a relationship with someone u don't love...a relationship with someone who doesnt love you...And you know what? It's NOT okay.
If you can truly say u've done all u can do (prayed, counseled, etc)...LEAVE. I did it. Yes...it was a struggle. No...Im not totally where I want to be...but PEACE OF MIND is priceless. Pray about it, lean on God, and if it's time...Trust that God will keep you and lead you. The kids know...you know...stop asking and JUST DO IT.
THE SIMPLE LIFE.... Not too long ago an extensive survey was conducted in the United States by a leading polling agency. Questionnaires were distributed to people of various ages and occupations. The key question was.... What are you looking for most in life? When the results were compiled, the analysts were surprised. Most of them had expected answers that would suggest materialistic goals, but the top three things that people wanted in life were love, joy , and peace.... the first three fruits of the Spirit!!!
Often we look around and think that the world might offer greater satisfaction in life, but that's not true. We of kindred spirit have what the world is seeking in the wrong places(usually). I was married once... and looking from the outside... you would have thought we were a fine couple who everything in material things. I had diligently worked and saved to have the best. However, we divorced... looking back over time ... I think the chief complaint was that we needed to live a simpler life.... not as much to polish and clean.. not as many cars to drive, not as many homes to take care of. In our own way.... we wanted love, joy and peace.
Mista's 13 cents... is seek to exhibit love, joy, and peace today.. LOVE requires thoughtfulness... on both sides the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks.. If you are married.. know that you can't do it alone ... come to understand that the only way you can love your spouse the way Jesus loved the church is through loving God... know that you can not do it without Him.... no matter how what when and who you try.. if not through Him... your love will always not build.....
There's only two reason to biblically divorce... adultery and a non believer... I would not co-sign any other reason. And know this to be true... LOVE IS A CHOICE. CHOOSE TO LOVE.... if you failed your marriage and its not because of these two reasons to be true >... then you have only truly failed.... to love through God... because His Love Never Fail.... THE TRUTH IS THIS ... LOVE IS NOT DETERMINED BY THE ONE BEING LOVED BUT RATHER BY THE ONE CHOOSING TO LOVE. THE SIMPLE LIFE....
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