Acceptable Communication in Relationships: Texting vs. Calling

Man...Im on a roll..lol My poor lil brain has reached it's capacity! All I do is write and type it seems...

As the days get longer, it seems as if the productive hours get shorter. (for me anyway) It's hard juggling work, home, and a personal life--I mean everything has some sort of priority and needs daily attention. How do you manage?

For those of us that are single (meaning not married)...u probably can relate to what Im saying. I work in a very fast paced environment. There are rarely moments of downtime, so mixing in a personal task can be trying. I may have the upper hand on most because I commute 40 minutes; but at the same time, sometimes I use that time to unwind and prepare myself mentally for my second job (the kids).

Mista and I agreed to make an effort to communicate at least once a day. We weren't specific in how that communication would be relayed so, we play it by ear. There are times where a complete day may pass without us hearing the other's voice....still the lines of communication remain open. Texting is my thing. I love to text. I like to be able to talk without talking and still be able to carry on my other processes of the day.

But, is it personable? Does it mean I care less because I hadn't picked up the phone to say hello? Umm....no. Texts can be just as expressive....it's not what you say, it's how you text it! lol (yall like that huh?) Still, at the same time, I believe text shouldn't be used for very sensitive conversations. (like breakups)

To me, there is no such thing as a "set" acceptable communication. What works for some, may not work for others. As long as communication is present overall-- it works....but Im just one person :)

Mista's 13.....


Communication: The Key to Any Relationship, an excellent defintion of communication..... is a process (either verbal or nonverbal) of sharing information with another person in such a way that she understands what you are saying.

Talking and listening and understanding are all involved in the process of communication... rather on the phone.... face to face.... skype.... texting..... google talk..... facebook.... and yes the most important forum.. the nonverbal "love faces", well in some cases very verbal..

But with all that said... as couples we need to spend more time on listening and understanding than upon talking... Practice the skills of listening.... after all we have two ears , which lets you listen twice as much as you speak..  that's Mista's 13..

Thought vs. Doubt in Relationships

It's funny how we overthink things...people, relationships, situations... All in an attempt to try and find the rationale for the saying "everything happens for a reason". And while everything does happen for a reason, do we really need to know what that reason is? Why can't we patiently await the outcome instead of "fixing it" ourselves?

I've come to realize that relationships are no accident. No matter how horrible or foul or degrading the relationship ended, it happened for a reason. I believe relationships or lack of....controls ur destiny. Whatever it is you did or said affected the next decision in ur life.....yeah, u can pick the domino up and play again, but the end result will NEVER be the same.

For a person like me that is always thinking...you can just imagine how my life is. lol I'm constantly fixing things that doesn't need fixing (but in my head it does)...and the things that need to be fixed...well I've thought about it so much until I can't figure out why it needed to be fixed in the first place. In the end, I become an emotional bag of nerves....break down and cry...dump the damaged nerves...and well wait for the next bag to fill. The more I repeat, the less nerves I damage, the less I overthink....bc finally I understand, What God allows is perfect.

I said all this to say, you are in control of your life..ur relationship...Everything starts and ends with you. Ur mate's attitude should mirror that as well. Stop allowing people to plant seeds of doubt... There's nothing with playing devil's advocate...but essentially you make the final decision. Stop blaming other people for your life's status- ur failed relationship. Like Tyrese says, "The sooner you clean out the bs, the clearer life will become."

...take us home Mista.


The Pervasive Influence of the Past

RoW.....uh!! you got this "thinking" thing running...... Okay let's see ...... Mista's Thoughts vs Doubt in Relationships is that much of what makes up today and even tomorrow seems to be an extension or variation of what has come before. What we see as possible .....what we are working toward...... is essentially a more, better or different version of the past. Often, we allow our fears and anxieties to stop us.... to determine how much we'll risk, and limit the range of..... What God allows is perfect.

If you fill your mind with fear, doubt, and unbelief in your ability to connect within your relationship. The forces of infinite intelligence will take this spirit of unbelief and use it as a pattern by which your subconscious mind will translate it into its physical equivalent. If you think he's to good to be true, he won't .... If you think she can't be this honest, she won't..... If you think you'll lose, you're lost .... For out of the world we find, relationship success begins with a couple's will... it's all in the state of mind.

When we see that our relationship to our anxieties and fears inadvertently gives us a life of our own, from naysayer, haters and the past........ something else becomes possible. We find ourselves being powerful in the face of what has stopped us before, and free to rediscover and pursue our passions in life. What I am convinced of is this....... God's Will is that you become the person He desires.... so often we seem to think of God's Will as leading to a certain place or person. His will leads us to be a certain person, the son or daughter He wants to spend eternity with. We simply need to proceed in a dating relationship until it's obvious that you've hit a dead end. That's what happens when God's Will become clear as time progress. At this point, whoever you choose to be with will be God's Will. 

Being given this technology for putting the past where it belongs..... in the past. We now can begin to design our lives as a free and authentic expression..... from what is possible, rather than what has been. Unencumbered by the past, we experience a greater level of vitality, well-being and fun, and are able to enjoy a new-found sense of connection and intimacy for true Oneness in our relationship.

The nature of choice is to be the author of our own lives in any and all relationships.....OWN YOUR CHOICE.

thats Mista's 13 cents.

The Meeting.....

Picture a beautiful sunny day...a Saturday...people are in their yards working, running, playing basketball in the park.... The mall is full bc there's a sale... and the snoball stand is even open. The temperature says 82.5 degrees--it's a typical Louisiana day. I'm dressed in my normal weekend attire....t-shirt and shorts....we've decided to meet in a well populated area...the mall.

Who is "we"? Mista and I of course. He's jumped in his truck and headed to see me. I have no idea what Im in store for, but I have more than a PLAN A. He calls....he's parking and headed my way... My heart is beating a thousand pumps a second...I hear his voice and I turn...slowly....taking a deep breath....

There he is...standing in front of me. A big smile plastered on his face. He's wearing a LONG SLEEVE shirt and jeans...and let's not forget the sunglasses! (does he ever go anywhere without them??) I hug him and we talk briefly...walking towards the opening of the mall. Immediately, the nervousness goes away. He's good.

We are about to start our day...see if we actually are compatible in real time .... this should be a challenge...or not...lol But, FIRST, let's get u out of that HOT shirt! kmsl....haven't u heard of a t-shirt? This is Louisiana after all... lol

And...in an instant, we click....talking like old friends...laughing...finishing each other's sentences. We don't have our day planned...we just take things as they come. Enjoying the company. It was a good day....great day....fun times... and the beginning of a new friendship....with Mista.



MEETING ME......

"Ssssh!" Isn't it amazing that in the midst of a crowded and noisy room one person making this sound can bring conversations to a halt and direct all eyes to the source? Or that awkward moment when you are about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror. A Saturday.... I will never forget "Meeting Me" who's Me, you may ask? RoW of course.

As I drive up to the Mall.... I'm on the phone with RoW. She's in the purse department at Dillard's... as I come upon the department it was very noise crowded.... theirs a woman in a gray dress.... not knowing what to expect I say don't look back (I'm on the phone with RoW) and it seem to be that the woman look back, but because of the purse displays.... I couldn't see who it was... so as I turn the corner, the woman turn around... can you say uh!! hell naw! c'mon man, smh.... it wasn't RoW ....

Ssssh! as the room became silent, at that moment I saw this 5'4 well put together little woman peaking her head...... slightly over this tall purse display.... with the cutest little glasses on.. a welcoming smile that did more than words could say. It was her.....RoW, at last...  I quickly asked for a hug...and if the outside reflects what is within.....than this ingredients has an obvious outward manifestation. As we walked into the mall.... I could tell her nervousness... so I asked her to sit down with me at the bench....<<smiling>> RoW could still not look me in the eyes as she kept taping away at her phone... looking for a restaurant for us to eat at. As we got up....... and walked towards the mall exit... we stop at a kiosk... and purchase some wrist bands....and at that awkward moment, I could feel the exhale RoW's walls come down and be replaced with transparency.

Funny how others can know that just from spending a short time in her presence. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and RoW's heart left an indelible mark on many that Saturday, as we went in and out of different places ....she seem to leave every room with a smile, rather it was the BBQ man.. the Exxon cashier.... the sales store clerk.....the people at the ice cream shop etc. It's true, her spirit is visible. Now that usually means she has spunk, pizzazz, or a bit of fire in her character.... However, this man looks for her spirit on the inside.

RoW's inner self, the unfading beauty is imaginative and thought provoking. To say the least RoW has ......touch the part of me that searches to be better with her thoughts and observations. That has set the course for growth in our friendship with empowering conversations, reassurances, and gentle thoughts that always seem to keep her on my mind. I mean........ just think about it hmph!!!....lol, she changed my dress code and smell good all in 13 minute...<<smiling>> RoW is always saying" being that I AM ur mirror image"...smh, Women have all the power....and I'm beginning....... to think she knows it. "MEETING ME".. my opposite in the mirror of life that completes, not compete 

Me and Mista Talk Religion

So...our first meeting and what do we do? A video blog on relationships and religion...lol
More to come.... :)

Dating after Divorce

Today's blog is totally spontaneous, as most my bloggings are. Mista often laughs at the fact that I can sit and just write with little or no effort :) I think of it as a talent that I don't let go to waste....we oftentimes have talents that remain hidden....not knowing how it could change the lives of others...but, that's another blog :) Anywho...I was sitting here thinking of where I am (mentally) today vs. where I was almost a year ago. For those of you that have been through a divorce, you probably know what Im talking about. If you don't or u haven't been married before....baby let me tell u, it's not fun and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Divorce is both a blessing and a curse....a blessing because God allowed u to make it through it all AND is granting you a "do over." Not many people get second chances to make it right. A curse bc all the things u experienced during the marriage becomes a seed of doubt. You question everything- both right and wrong. The last thing you want is to make the same mistake AGAIN.

But eventually, you give in to being lonely and here comes dating.

Dating is NOT what it used to be! I say that emphatically.... Most men have downgraded from the "gentleman level" to "almost nice." No more opening the door...offering to pay for ur date...no more NOT expecting sex on the first date. Instead u get, an automatic unlock....maybe a paid meal, but u got the movie...and "can a brother make love to u or at least get some head???" kmsl Wow! Notice I did say most men... There are some that are still gentlemen....and sadly, they either are married or on another planet.

Well...lets just pretend u found a gentleman...how do u proceed? At what point do u start to trust again? For me, trust is earned. You start at ZERO and work urself up. Honesty goes hand and hand with trust. If ur honest, 9 times out of 10, ur trustworthy. You should NEVER jump right in to the next relationship. Just like u have issues, they do too...u wanna learn if their issues are something u can truly handle before u call urself making a commitment again. Take ur time. This is ur last do over. (hopefully)

And finally, have fun. Dating doesn't always have to lead to a relationship. It could also lead to a great friendship. Friendships sometimes last longer than relationships....besides, you should always be friends first. Communication is a key factor in both relationships and friendships.

So...there's my spill. Im not sure how or if Mista will respond...or what his thoughts are on dating after a divorce. Guess we'll see.

{Paging Mista}



Mista is from a different planet....

Chivalry didn't die.. I love opening the door for a lady and I insist on paying on our dinner dates. A man that has any intentions of being a good mate to you does not pressure you for sex when he meets you. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adios and don’t look back! lol....

In Genesis, did God say, "It is not good that the man should be alone...", but most confused singleness with being alone. Will there ever be a time, and has there ever been a time, you will cease to be separate, unique, and whole? If your answer is no, then the next question is: Does being in a relationship do away with this definition of being single? Being a single individual we should never stop..... being unique and whole. Until you are a separate, single, unique, and whole person you actually are not ready to be in a relationship!! (Never lose your Identity)

Relational issue arise most because a man or woman( or both) have not seen themselves as unique, worthy individuals, ie they have a bad self image, or they are schizophrenic in some way an not whole, or they are not separate but always depend on some other person to make them happy. What I am saying is that until you are truly single, relationships will be a difficult, and perhaps negative, experience. I think relationships gets better only when we become more single. 50/50 is no longer good enough we must be a whole person 100%.


Regaining Custody of Yourself first is the key after any divorce or break up. Custody of oneself does not mean declaring independence from the human race or establishing a policy of isolation in your own little world. It does not mean to become so self-centered that you declare love bankruptcy and close your trust company. Regaining custody of yourself means that you take responsibility for restoring your life according to God's principles and submit to His healing process. It means to take your roots out of other people and yet develop the freedom to share your fruit with them. It's when we put our trust in people like they are not going to hurt us.....smh we're human, think about it .............. yes we are going to lie, say ugly things to each other, make mistakes and yes hurt each other along with a host of other relational issues ... what did you expect, we're human.

But it's when we learn to allow God to love our chosen mate through us......... is when trust truly comes to love by choice and decisions. Understand that all feelings and emotions fluctuate. Even the strongest feelings of romantic love will wax and wane. At times, even the most ardent lovers can feel diminished love for each other. But within an upward fluctuating pattern, romantic love can constantly renew and build to higher levels.

Life After Divorce for me.... Regaining custody of myself and lessons learned to listen to the Exclusive Heart of the Woman......... She's careful who she choose as her mate..... so many questions she need to know and ask.... she needs it to be more than a feel good movement. She'll want me to hang around the family, to know how I will repond or will NOT respond to CONFLICT. She'll Make sure, she have things in COMMON with me, because she knows for when trouble rises that will only instigate division if she do not....she'll seek to know my values, evaluate how my past has affected me and to know how it will affect our RELATIONSHIP. Most of all IF IT DON'T WORK, She won't FORCE IT. She'll Get out before an EMOTIONAL attachment enables her to SETTLE, ACCEPT or deal with things she know are out of God's ORDER.. If I don't notice these thoughts within her than I know she's not like the Audience of One ROw..

KISSES ARE MORE THAN KISSES

So.. RoW and I have been debating No... Yes... No... Yes...NO..no!!! and Mista seems to be losing to the No's.... Kisses are more than kisses. They are exchanges of not only breath, but emotion. This is the place of giving yourself, where a lady's inner woman is revealed. All warmth, all the passion she possess is exposed with one kiss. Kisses are important to a man because they whisper promises to him of what your love will be like. But that's not the debate.... the debate is when Mista gets to......

Your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever ( Psalm 45:2)

Keep it sweet. Make sure your breath is sweet and your lips are soft, subtle, and yielding. Make him feel welcome to know your heart. Lips come in all sizes and shapes..... full, thin, voluptuous, pouty, streamlined.... you name it. And now with the help of cosmetic surgery, we can make them look any way we want. One thing cosmetic surgery won't do is make those lips, no matter what size, appealing to a man if they are subconsciously taut an rigid from churning emotions within.

Funny how we can tell if someone is upset by either looking into their eyes or observing the set of their lips. If they are stiff or turned downward, we know that person is not happy.... They are upset about something. Are your lips soft, inviting pleasant conversation, or do they threaten a rebuke? Do they bid welcome, or are they stiff with pride or suspicion? Perhaps it's time to spit out whatever tastes bitter within and fill yourself with goodness. YES that it!! Though men may fail you and life might disappoint, taste and see that God is good. His promises are enough to fill you with hope and make you look like the woman He meant for you to be.

NOW!! Go ahead, lick your lips.... allow them to be one of your most outstanding features. Kisses are small appetizers, that's it. If he wants the main course, he has to sign up for the full-meal deal... a lifetime commitment. Never allow yourself to settle into a routine. Sweet kisses will serve as a refresher to any dry romance. Passionate kisses will keep the flame alive.

As to RoW's No no's.. is soon to be....

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth... for your love is more delightful than wine" SONG OF SONGS 1:2

KMSL! Did you really take it there Mista? lol

Yes, I said no kisses. A kiss on the cheek should suffice FOR NOW. Funny how you incorporate the Word into ur quest to have ur way. BUT, again....being that I AM ur mirror image, allow me to match ur efforts with mine.

1 John 2:15-17 ESV

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

The lips, I would think, is part of ur flesh. Surrendering my flesh to u--in the Biblical sense, would definitely apply to this scripture.

NOW....speaking on the terms of "no one is perfect...and all of us fall short of God's glory", I can say that my decisions become my decision. Kissing therefore becomes an option, not a requirement.

Different people have different views of timing...how to kiss...where to kiss...or even if it will go beyond kissing (bc u know kissing sometimes leads to other things)... so, yes, I agree that kisses are really more than kisses...they are options...they are signs of commitment...they are intimate parts of the relationship. Both parties should be comfortable with the act and each other....

Have u not heard the saying "I don't know where ur lips have been???" lol....ok...Im kidding...lol... but seriously, have some patience. There's a scripture for that too...and Im sure u know which one it is ;-)

Anyway...to answer ur question, MISTA KNOW IT ALL...Mista will get kisses when RoW's No's become Yes.

....lol...this was simple.

Is HE a Social Network Cheater?

You can do just about anything online. Pray, shop, cook, read, date, sex...yep....sex (cybersex that is) Technology has created a one stop shop for all ur needs. Who needs a mate when you have Social Networking??

Buzz, buzz, buzz...It's midnight and his phone is still vibrating. You wanna ask who's texting him so late but u don't wanna argue..buzz, buzz, buzz....ugh! Enough already!Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz... Ok...time to take it there....and just when you do, he picks up the phone, reads the message and laughs..."Facebook" he says with a smile on his face. You roll your eyes, turn over and secretly curse the existence of social networking...

Could he be a Social Network Cheater?

Late night texting, You Tube dedications, consistent "Likes" and Retweets from the same person...does that constitute cheating? Is it really possible to "cheat" online?

Man...I could go on and on. Especially with Facebook. I mean how easy is it to cheat there? Chat...Inbox...Pokes...."It's Complicated" relationship statuses??? Cmon....complicated? Either ur in a relationship or ur not. Smh Furthermore, who needs to know ur having issues in ur relationship? That's NOT need to know information for Facebook! Im just saying....either they don't care or they are rejoicing...don't add fuel to the already burning furnace.

Ok...I digress....back on subject. (before the Mista comments, well RoW...u were kinda off subject...lol) Here are some sure tell signs, he could be a Social Network Cheater:

1. Late Night inboxes or IMs in combination with a run to the store or sudden plans for the next day. (Chances are, planning just took place)
2. You Tube dedications on his page. (Why in the sam hill is she posting songs on ur page? Doesn't she have other friends...)
3. Daily salutations. (Notice I said DAILY. --ex: Morning Bae, Morning Sweetums, Morning Mista :) and don't forget the smiley faces that follow)
4. I could say obsession or guarding their page but....at times Im a Social Network Junkie. I love to comment on posts or comment in groups....that doesn't necessarily constitute cheating. Now....IF he's to the point where he's excluding u from posts..(U DO know they can do that right???) then chances are...yeah...he's cheating.
5. Tagged Pictures. ( U notice he's being tagged in all her pictures. Not multiple tags...just him. Those pictures....yeah...they were meant for him) And finally...

6. The Alternate Page. (If he has an alternate page u know NOTHING about...lol...yeah..uh huh)

If your MAN is guilty of any or all of these signs. He's probably a cheater. And...From my point of view, cheating is cheating. Whether it's physically, mentally or emotionally.....if you are involved with anyone other than ur mate, it's cheating. PERIOD.

Now...Mista will have his few cents...13 cents last time...smh....what happened to 2 cents? Ijs...lol



Mista's Take on: IS HE A SNC...

THE PROMISCUOUS FB GIRL!!! THATS RIGHT!!! IT COULD BE HER.. that's "The Social Network Cheater" (AKA THE SNC). The craftiest and possibly the most savvy of them all.... the Social Network cheater use facebook, BlackPeopleMeet, Twitter and other social networks to find Men/Women. I mean since I've been on Facebook it's the women I see most (hint hint clue) with the "pretty girl picture".... fake profiles.

I have once came across three profiles that was using the same photo's of the same girl on three different profile, all different names...smh ijs!! Is She The SNC. They maintains a secret profile and may not post any personal photo. They keeps their accounts and passwords hidden and may use a headless picture of their body or a group shot whereby they can tell interested men/women which face is theirs, once they solicits them. The emergence of SNC has forced us all to finally ask the question, exactly what is cheating today? Is a man/woman actually cheating if he only has secret non-physical indiscretions online?

This is a example for you, do you remember that Congressman Anthony Weiner? In 2011 he was charged with cheating on his wife. But his case of cheating was unlike any other public official before him because he allegedly never had sex or physical contact with anyone. In actuality, Congressman Weiner didn't really do anything that would be considered cheating by traditional standards. You see cheating use to be defined by someone having a sexual or physical act outside of their marriage or committed relationship. But Congressman Weiner participated in the New Cheating..... by having secret, sexually explicit exchanges with women on Facebook that his wife didn't know about. SNC....

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

Well you could look into more by sneaking into his/her email, getting password reading his/her inbox message or checking his/her phone for texts message and numbers. But were do the relationship go from there...... IF YOU DON'T HAVE TRUST IN HIM/HER, believe me........once you get started you'll be digging down that rabbit hole forever until you find what you're looking for..... if you ever find it or until you get so tried of looking to the point that everything will start looking like infidelity to your mind. Satan has done his homework well. He causes mistrust between the sexes by persuading women that men can't be faithful and convincing men that women can't be trusted.

Mista's advise: Trustworthiness is the first characteristic listed in the the description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. The only true way to protect against a mate that cheats on line is by creating new monogamy where your mate can be transparent about his/her desires. Thinking if more women set the stage for honesty and transparency with a man, he will begin to relax and open the grasp he keeps on his heart?

Women have all the power....Too bad they don't know it!

What's the Speed Limit of Love?

The Mista and I agreed to take turns initiating the posts of the blog. We play around with topics--some of which we agree; others of which we agree to disagree. (He's bossy- shhhhhh lol) It's really HIS TURN to start, and he's probably gonna fuss, BUT, we had a conversation last night that has really peaked my interest. LOVE. ---sorry Mista :)

According to the Bible:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Self explanatory right? Well...why is it that society uses love as an adjective to describe the actual ACT of love? Why do we (yes I said we) use the word interchangeably with "like"....and the two words stretch to different sides of definition?
Which brings me to this question?

What's the speed limit of love? .......... I mean, at what point do u say u love someone? Should you remain in first gear for weeks or months or even years before the "love" word is used? Honestly? If I met you today, and tomorrow I said, (insert name), "I love you." Would you look at me like Im crazy, stop responding to my text (or whatever form of communication we are using) or would u say, "I love you too."
Love is powerful...and defined...and rare. And knowing that, how do we handle it? Do we make it limited to the speed limit to avoid accidents? Or...do we push it past its limits and face it head on?
Mista seems to think......well....I'll let him give his thoughts....A Couple That Thinks....how fitting.


Mista's Lessons Learned

I've come to understand that people these days always in love with this person or that. Always with the love song about how theirs going to last forever. Obsessed with it..... always chasing it, but  never catching up, but funny they seem to always find sex along the way. Love is not merely a emotion, but an action. Not some infatuation of merely what they see and like based on erotic passion for their mate. But a love idea...... that's love action is a selfless love of the ultimate commitment for Oneness. "Agape"

*Do you typically only express kindness and affection to your mate when feel like they earned it? Or do you faithfully love even when they least deserves it? (unconditional love with conditions)

The bottom line is Mista want the same thing RoW want ... love. Someone who loves him enough to be patient and kind, to rejoice and celebrate their accomplishments. He don't want someone who is critical and touchy, suspicious and accusing. There is no room for insecurity in love. Love doesn't jump to imaginary conclusions.Though it is realistic, it always hopes for the best and is courageous enough to believe object of its affections. Love makes a woman a lady. It nurtures trust and sets a man's heart at rest because true love is faithful and loyal. It doesn't compete with the beloved, but promotes him to be the best that he can beloved.

In turn, she reap all of the rewards for successes. He, in turn, feels like a king and crowns her Queen. Let him know the best thing about your love is that it grows. It is flexible. It is able to withstand storms and controversy. But most of all, it overcomes all things, including your own fears.

So how do we do that? The standard Jesus set us seems too hard to do, far too high to reach. That's  because it is. The key to loving like Jesus is to understand that we cannot do it on our own. God Himself must become our never ending source of love. And He is more than able to do....

What's the speed limit of love? NOW... through us what we cannot be ourselves. SO, WHAT IF YOU BEGAN TO PRAY, "LORD, LOVE HIM/HER THROUGH ME!! IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE HONORING. IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE LOVING. AND IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE FAITHFUL. "That's Mista's 13 cents "

10 Reasons Why A Long Distance Relationship Cant Last---Fact or Fiction

So the Mista (Jones) and I (RoW--don't ask but he has this obsession with my name) are brand new. Brand new to distance but not necessarily to opposition. We've gotten some quite interesting feedback--feedback I feel could be true but not necessarily. To me, love from a distance can only last with trust. Trust in ur mate...and the relationship. Here are the reasons Im hearing:

1. You don't know what he/she is doing.
2. Relationships won't survive without sex.
3. It's too expensive.
4. It will become boring.
5. Men lie.

Hmm...nope. I dont know what he's doing. (Fact) He could be renting himself out to any and everyone and I'd never know...but you know what, he doesn't know what Im doing either! Sex...everyone won't agree with this but, there ARE alternatives to that (FICTION) (use ur imagination) Is it expensive? (FACT) Yeah....it can be. But my question is, is it worth it? Is he/she worth ur drive...worth the money ur putting out? And, if you have to hesitate, that answer is NO. Will it become boring? That can be two fold...are u bored with the relationship or bored with the thought of being in a long distance relationship? To me, if two ppl have enough in common, yes even quietness is enough. Finally...men lie. (FACT) Yeah..they do. But so do women....

Im here blogging right now and arguing with MISTA KNOW IT ALL. He's gonna want everything perfect..dot ur I's...spell out ur words...love me on purpose. Well my answer to that is NOPE.

Your turn.


SMH.. It's MISTA's turn now... lol "knowing it all" they told me in school that knowing it all gets you things and takes you place, but all it got me with RoW was NOPE!!! There's nothing more sexy to me then a woman "not losing her identity. Well its my time to finish out 6-10 Why!!! LONG DISTANCE ROMANCE won't work. (FACT OR FICTION)

6. If you can't stand talking on the phone can't find your computer's on switch.
7. If you always feel the need to "keep one in the wing" in case your current relationship doesn't work out.
8. If you can't imagine yourself married to your partner one day.
9. If you're drawn to the idea of long-distance dating because it will finally let you live that fictional double life you've been dreaming of.
10.IF YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS SAY OR THINK.

Being able to communicate is a must in any relationship rather long or under the same roof. The first time RoW and I shared thoughts was on facebook inbox back and forward (back and forward)from the AM to PM and then phone conversation till the AM. Then awaken the next and said our prayers together on the phone a moment before the next AM. lol NOW WE SKYPE. It just makes no sense to be in a relationship if you are expecting it to fail. There has to be a means of purpose to it all, if you are not able to imagine spending the rest of you with your mate, WHY? Why would you be in any relationship rather long distance or in the same town....... it just makes no sense to me, I'm 43 and the longest thing I'll ever do in life is living, but it could be all over tomorrow. ALL relationships are a gamble and I'm glad I'm winning. And there's nothing more important than being a trustworthy man/woman, that's the ONLY (FACT) I NEED !!!.... Don't be afraid of taking the risk on long distance, a strong relationship will survive just about anything even the NASAYERS!!!