MEET THE KIDS

WOW!!! It's been a moment since the last blog...... time goes so fast. But this topic has been on my mind for some time now. Being that I grew up in a single parent household.... this question seems to be always at the front of your thoughts when you're dating as a single parent. And remembering a short story once dating a ladii, I meet the kids about sixth days into the relationship .....she had two great kids ...... thinking back the last time I saw them... the little one said to me "no don't go" and I replied don't worry I'll be back to see you again.. To tell the story short... me and the ladii stop seeing each other and I wasn't able to keep that promise<<just broke my heart>> Now!!...imagine that happening over and over again everytime you date the next .... not good!!! hmmmm.. RoW has two girls herself and I have boys all over my tree. I have been a single parent for six years and out of those years only once a ladii.... I've dated has met my younger boys. Now that hasn't been by design, but it hasn't made any sense also. That if I haven't came to that place with the ladii that we are think beyond the years .... I mean.... why bother? In my opinion dating is a seasonal journey... and at the beginning every ladii seems to be the one.... as I'm sure RoW would share the same about men. But what example would it be..... showing our kids if every woman or man we went on a date with .... or everytime we thought they were the one... smh, the boys would be dizzii...<<smiling>> Now.... I'm sure others would think differently, but I think who you're dating should not Meet the Kids .... until your relationship go through all the seasons..... yes I said it... a full calendar year or until you are engage, which ever one come first. Now.... there is another way, to be introduce as a friend of the family..... but please don't do the whole Uncle Jinx thing..... and have your kids thinking crazy when they catch you showing the cookies to Uncle Jinx... kmsl, but I will give you permission to use MISTER!! anytime. I mean Mister Jones is a household brand... <<smiling>> Hmmmm... I wonder what's on RoW's mind on Meeting the Kids.

Meeting the kids....or in my case the girls.   Any TRUE parent will have reservations about their kids.  Kids are impressionable and innocent.  The last thing they need is to be involved in a situation that may prove to NOT be true.   Lust is just as powerful as love.  You can be in LUST with someone thinking that's ur perfect mate, only to find, they were not the one. 

My standards for meeting the kids, prob surpasses any "normal" standard bc my Mom set the bar so high.  After being married for 23 years to the same man, she felt like NO ONE was EVER good enough to meet us.  Did we know she was dating? Yes. Did we ever meet them? No.  And...we never asked.  It was the unspoken rule.  We learned that respect was not only for adults but for kids.  My Mom respected us enough to not take us through whatever rollercoaster she was experiencing.  She knew that in time she would find the ONE and at that time, we would meet them. 

Yes, times have changed....and so has the definition of "meeting the kids". Is it ok for kids to meet ur friend? Yes.  Is it ok for ur kids to meet ur mate? No. Meeting means, hello...how are you...I am...blah blah blah.... MEETING means.... Teri....Alysha...this is "mate's name"....and immediately following they see more and more of that person on a regular basis.  They will either like them or dislike tthem...and either way, they ARE affected. 

There is NO time frame for the meeting....there is however, a time that you have to analyze when u plan to change the course of children's thoughts of you and their future view on relationships. I take that personal....and I choose carefully.  No one will be labeled as my mate unless Im ABSOLUTELY sure it is for the long run.  But hey...that's a day in the life of Ro....