We Are All Unfinished Gifts

Many men will observe a woman to discern if she is willing to grow with him, and we should. The truth of the matter is, we are all unfinished gifts.... It is the experiences we go through in life and the interaction with others that cause us to grow and become better people. Accepting a man for who he is, seeing his vast potential, and allowing him to grow into it is a rare gift that delights a man when he finds it. Why? Because he doesn't expect to. He has grown used to some women who judge him by where he is, and what he has acquired, and either accept or disqualify him based on what she finds.

The bottom line is this..... the independent thinking, the cynicism, and the jaded outlook some women have acquired today.... are not willing to struggle, grow, and develop with a man. Now ladies...... don't get me wrong ... I'm not saying, get with a man that isn't clearly on your level, but when you meet a good man... and you have forgotten that God dreamweaved you as a woman..... to finish and complete a man...... and you fall for.... the bad boy, because he has money.. ijs it is what it is... bad decision 101.

With that in mind, become open to endless possibilities that "two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor" (Ecclesiastes 4:9) A woman bring a lot to a man's life.... that was sorely lacking before she entered his world. A woman sees all the missing pieces, together a man..... and a woman..... can build a future filled with desires... So ladies, if you are the woman that have forgotten her gift and wrongly expect them to be in place when you arrive. Hmph!!! Know this to be true.... a man is drawn to a woman who knows how to work with him and not against him, regardless of his faults.

(Smh...clearing my throat...)

Um....Mista...Yes...we ALL are unfinished gifts. Imperfectly perfect gifts that God put on this Earth with purpose. Yes...God created WOMAN for MAN... He took a rib from the man and created woman. But, it is not the responsibility of the woman to find a man...Proverbs says: He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Nor is the responsibility of the woman to head the household....Corinthians says: But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 

As women, (some) we have become accustomed to thinking, doing, and initiating everything in our lives. We have experienced liars, cheaters and bums....we have been the HEAD and the TAIL of the household bc we were single parents. Yes, (some) women prefer bad boys--and--not all bad boys are TRULY bad boys...lol IJS... And..bc of this...we get a bad rep. We are called jaded....broken...gold diggers...etc. Some of are...BUT, for the rest of us...we are TIRED. So YES, we do think twice...we do become independent...we do get attitudes and have a low tolerance for bs. It's life. We just live it.

ALL of us...both men and women dream for the same thing. Someone who completes us...accepts us for our flaws...and loves us unconditionally. It happens...just not always on OUR time.

Imma leave yall with a piece of advice a co worker gave me (compliments of her grandmother):

"Yes...the man is the HEAD of the household....BUT...the woman is the NECK. And...the last time I checked, one CANNOT survive without the other." kmsl

You should have the final say: The truth about SELF ESTEEM

Almost every channel u turn to has something about enhancements. Whether its weight loss, "butt adds"or new lashes... There are a ton of options at ur fingertips. If u didn't have self esteem issues before.... I bet after looking at one too many infomercials, u can find SOMETHING that needs improvement.

My question is this.. Who decides what features are acceptable or not acceptable? Is it the online BMI calculator that says ur 5'4 build is overweight bc u weigh 135 lbs instead of 125 lbs... Or  is it Dr Oz who says ur 'inherited' moles are unattractive and should be removed... No.. No.. It's Oprah.. She's lost almost 100 pounds by changing her eating habits-- and u should too bc the 'soul food' u grew up on is killing u.. GTFOH!!!

YOUR appearance is YOUR choice. YOU have to walk around with that body.. YOU have to walk around with those moles.. YOU have to walk around with  a 'big' butt. And keeping it real, if YOU have no problems with ur flaws (note: they're only flaws if u don't like them) why the hell should someone else? Im just saying....

I heard a girl say today she needed to lose weight bc 'her man said she was getting chunky'.. Smh  I thought she was built quite nicely.. Although she would prob look better without the 'cherry' and pink highlights....kmsl.. So I asked her, do YOU think ur getting chunky?? And u know what her reply was? No... But he does... and I GOTTA make my man happy..(with a frown on her face)

Pump the BRAKES! Seriously?

Change...whether it's mental or cosmetic SHOULD NOT be done based on someone else's opinion of u.  Once u start doing that, u lose the person u are.  Now...there are some instances where someone may ASK their mate, "baby, am I gaining weight?" or.... they may say...."Bay...Im gaining weight huh?" and the mate says yes or co signs... but that's different... THEY are initiating the conversation.  SELF esteem starts with SELF. No ifs, ands or buts....

So, the next time someone steps to you and points out a flaw, you tell them ur perfect the way you are...lol...and when they say...says who (and trust me they will) u look them in the face and say, ME! I SAY SO.... lol Don't hate the playa...hate the game. I gotta call it like I see it.


hmmmm.... It's not as bad as you think. You will be surprised to find that while we are examining ourselves under a high-powered microscope for all of our various real and imagined flaws, others view quite differently. Every person has their favorite feature. Lips, legs, eyes, oh my! It is a varied list depending on who is looking your way. Something about you might catch their eye that is seemingly insignificant, even quirky, in fact. Aaah, but to hold anothers gaze, the picture of you must be completed, but not exactly the way you think....


Be kind to your body. Care for it well. It is the only one YOU have.  Take responsibility for making yours a body YOU will be proud to present to your mate...Do the work it takes to maintain a sense of well-being.  Eat right, sleep and exercise.  If you feel good about your body, "your mate will too." 


Mista's 13: Key Word....YOU...meaning how you feel about your "Sexy"...it is what it is.

Did you lock the door? Leaving the past in the past...

RO'S WISDOM.... Some of us had beautiful past....we have a beautiful present..and we look forward to a beautiful future. We were able to build from our mistakes and move on to the place we are today.  Unfortunately, that's not always the case....the past can be an ugly reminder of ur failures as well as a security blanket to NOT move forward....

God created yesterday, today and tomorrow..... Yesterday is gone....Today should be lived....and tomorrow is a blessing (if HE sees fit to allow u life) So...I have to wonder...why are we holding on to the PAST?

I cant speak for anyone else but I used to bounce back to the past bc it was/is familiar. Familiar in the sense of people...situations....I just knew what the outcome would be. But, what I started to realize was...the past is over. All those people and situations have changed....and not all of them for the good. 

Divorce is a beautiful thing. I know ppl are reading this going WTH? kmsl...but IT IS. Divorce basically FORCES you to look at what went wrong and why....it FORCES you to learn from ur mistakes so u dont repeat them....it FORCES you to do a SELF CHECK and accept your SELF WORTH (without negotiation).  It's the reason I can blog today about leaving the past in the past.

Reaching back in ur past is a part of fear.  Ur scared of the new....and u'd like an easy fix.  Well....let me tell u this...LIFE isn't easy. There are times u will fall....there are times u will fail...it's just a part of the crooked path we travel in hopes of finding a straightaway. You won't get there going backwards...u won't get there detouring...the road to LIFE is designed to move forward. Lock the door to ur past...let it stay where it is....no...don't forget it...but know it's no longer needed. If God meant for us to live in the past, He wouldn't have created TODAY and TOMORROW.



Mista's 13 WAY OUT... there is a way out, a stage of recovery that I found to be healthy. That is openness. Being transparent and open is an honest desire to face the truth and deal with change. Openness allows you to begin making plans about the future, not spend hours reliving the pasts.


Acceptance of what has happened and learning how to go on requires openness. What I came to know is the understanding that everyone goes through this experience to one degree or another in various ways. Life is a process of change. Society changes, nations change, people change. You cannot live a healthy life and live in the past. Do not let the failures of the past interfere with your future.


There is life after divorce, life after separation, life after a loved one dies, and life after being jilted. But you first have to find hope... in forgiveness... this removes any walls rather vertical or as well as horizontal, but this one thing I could share most is, "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before"(Philippians 3:13) it's amazing what you find when you seek from the BiG BooK OF dECISIONS...