Prayed Together

This blog here is a little different... its been on my mind for a couple of days on how to share.... not only that...... but I'm blogging from my phone...so this is a little brand new... So bare with me.... hmmmm, so lets talk about praying together... well let see .... I tell you what.... let me try sharing with my own story on praying together. Now with understanding of the importants of the spiritual connection this tends to be one of the first things, I want to know about a potential mate...... is there faith. 

Dating one young ladii ... I asked her if she would have problems praying with me or doing biblical topic conversations on verses... she said sure she would be okay with it .... surprisingly it went good for about two weeks...... one time a week and then...... excuse and issues kept coming up why she could not.. <<smiling>>>  now... I'm not saying do this with everyone you date.... but if you're thinking beyond ... it makes sense if you are serious about your faith. I dated another young ladii and she agreed.. but on the first biblical topic it came out that she didn't believe that Jesus was the only way to heaven.. "unevenly yoke"...

WoW...now.... I'm thinking ..... I'm not having to much success with trying to connect on a deeper level.... smh... but had a converstaion one night with RO <<<smiling>>  remembering late night on the phone... RO had gotten sleepy and she says to me ... "come on and lets pray"... she wanted me to spiritually lead the prayer.... <<smiling>> the day RO and I "Prayed Together"... secured the loyal friendship of mines for life... no matter what we become as potential mates, she will always be a woman I RESPECT.

The prayer life of togetherness is important.... it gives protection and brings potential relationships and marriages into the right light because prayer purifies and refocuses your attention back to God and His will for your life. Prayer breaks down resistance and expose the heart. It is the place where man and woman become spiritually naked and unashamed again... bringing joy and a sense of divine peace.

<<smiling>> I'm sure RO has a reason why she wanted to pray together that night...

Now Now Mister ... Everything I do or say has reason...

Anyone who truly knows me knows that I can fall asleep faster than a frog can catch a fly...kmsl...I have been that way for as long as I remember--and my kids are the same way. Sleep is sometimes few and far between in the life of a single Mom so I cherish every moment (smile)

Everything I do or say has reason.  It could be minor or major...but trust me when I say, it always matters. After being in a marriage for 11 years unevenly yoked, I learned that prayer is the root of all relationships...and without it, the family cannot survive. In dating, people sometimes overlook things like religion or pet peeves only to find when they say "I do", it becomes a MAJOR issue. (l learned that the hard way)

My strategy to find out if a man knows and loves God is by asking him to pray.  Whether it's blessing our food or praying for strength throughout the day or simply a good night prayer....if he resists...he's NOT for me. I acknowledge God in all that I do. Doesn't make me better than anyone else....doesn't mean Im the perfect Christian...it just means I know that ALL things are possible through GOD, not man.

Needless to say, Mista passed.  He paused when I asked...but seconds later, heads were bowed and the Spirit of God was upon us at that very moment--drawing our hundreds of miles apart into ONE mind. Isn't God good? If we always looked to God and allowed HIM to lead us in our relationships/marriages, don't you know how many divorces/breakups WOULDN'T happen???

So YES, Mista.... I agree...Prayer in any relationship takes away the stubbornness of self and replaces it with grace. And if that relationship doesn't survive...I'm more than certain, a friendship WILL remain...








A $19.50 decision could literally change your life like it did mine. Is it worth taking a look.....hmmmmm....???? http://napower.com/163624/start-a-business

The Search for the "Perfect Mate"

This morning I realized it's been almost a year since Ive moved back home.  It's crazy how time passes so quickly-- adjustments become rituals....or habits...and you have no clue how things will end. But you pray, weed out the bs, and move forward.

There are times I feel if I erased all the bad points in my life, I'd be better off...then I remember those mistakes make me the person I am today. If you asked me a year ago where I wanted to be in life, I'd probably say, I have no clue. Yea, everyone wants to be debt free and enjoying life "as is", still.....do u realize how many people truly are debt free and still remain unhappy? All the material things of the world cannot buy happiness...peace of mind...and most of all, it can't make YOU..... When I say you, I mean YOU minus the cosmetic makeup of the society, YOU minus the front you put on for people who could care less, YOU loving you despite the "what ifs" and "could haves".

I said all that to bring you to this. In my search for self...the TRUE self...the self that somehow disappeared in the course of 12 years...I realized, there is no such thing as "the perfect mate." I know some of u are going, yes it is....you just haven't found it. But NO, there's not.  Think about it. You have ur views on life...ur mate has theirs...and, if ur lucky... most of ur views overlap. This makes that mate "compatible" to you. This makes that person your "ideal" mate. He/she may be "perfect for you" but not perfect for someone else.  Many relationships fail because we have all these expectations--based on friends, family, books you've read, movies you've watched.... and most these expectations are unrealistic.

So what's next? You say the hell with ur mate....u say I don't need this bs...I can find better...I can do better.  And...in very small instances, you can! (kmsl) But the true reality is, nobody is perfect. We all have faults. It's when those faults aren't dealt with (in the dating stage) that they become a death wish to ur relationship. Ever heard the statement, "any relationship is work"? Yeah....well...that statement is the biggest crock I have EVER heard.  TRUE relationships....and by TRUE  I mean relationships based on communication, trust and loyalty....they don't require work, it just happens! Being 100% percent with self AND your mate, makes the relationship work on its own.

Stop searching for the "perfect mate" and allow God to lead. Allow urself to hear what he's saying...stop tryna fix urself for someone else.....Ok...Im done with that...

Your turn Mista. Ur audience of one RoW awaits.


Mista is no longer looking for the perfect love...instead I'm creating it.....
"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept, then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man" (Genesis 2:21-23). Wow.. isn't that a powerful verse? You have to remember, there is only one of us. We were carefully fashioned by God to compliment each other.... meaning we complete each other not compete against each other. Alot of people ask me if there is only one man for every woman.  And you know what...My reply is always the same, there are many mates you could settle for, but there is one that God knows is best for you. When He decided to give Adam a mate, he did not place Eve, Mary, and Sue before him and allow him to pick. He designed one especially capable of meeting all of Adam's needs. Understand that meeting all of Adam's needs would have to mean that she was strong where he was weak and he was strong were she was weak..... by this standard they completed each other, but by no means are either of them perfect. If they were they would not have needed each other. So embrace your originality.... the things about you that set you apart from every other person on the face of the earth. Just as there was only one Adam, there is only one me who does things the way I do.... Let's be clear about what I'm trying to share.... God's Will is what He wants you to be.... and when we're in His Will no matter who you choose will be God's best for you. Not the Perfect Mate.. but the Perfect Love.. Unconditional with Conditions "Agape".

MEET THE KIDS

WOW!!! It's been a moment since the last blog...... time goes so fast. But this topic has been on my mind for some time now. Being that I grew up in a single parent household.... this question seems to be always at the front of your thoughts when you're dating as a single parent. And remembering a short story once dating a ladii, I meet the kids about sixth days into the relationship .....she had two great kids ...... thinking back the last time I saw them... the little one said to me "no don't go" and I replied don't worry I'll be back to see you again.. To tell the story short... me and the ladii stop seeing each other and I wasn't able to keep that promise<<just broke my heart>> Now!!...imagine that happening over and over again everytime you date the next .... not good!!! hmmmm.. RoW has two girls herself and I have boys all over my tree. I have been a single parent for six years and out of those years only once a ladii.... I've dated has met my younger boys. Now that hasn't been by design, but it hasn't made any sense also. That if I haven't came to that place with the ladii that we are think beyond the years .... I mean.... why bother? In my opinion dating is a seasonal journey... and at the beginning every ladii seems to be the one.... as I'm sure RoW would share the same about men. But what example would it be..... showing our kids if every woman or man we went on a date with .... or everytime we thought they were the one... smh, the boys would be dizzii...<<smiling>> Now.... I'm sure others would think differently, but I think who you're dating should not Meet the Kids .... until your relationship go through all the seasons..... yes I said it... a full calendar year or until you are engage, which ever one come first. Now.... there is another way, to be introduce as a friend of the family..... but please don't do the whole Uncle Jinx thing..... and have your kids thinking crazy when they catch you showing the cookies to Uncle Jinx... kmsl, but I will give you permission to use MISTER!! anytime. I mean Mister Jones is a household brand... <<smiling>> Hmmmm... I wonder what's on RoW's mind on Meeting the Kids.

Meeting the kids....or in my case the girls.   Any TRUE parent will have reservations about their kids.  Kids are impressionable and innocent.  The last thing they need is to be involved in a situation that may prove to NOT be true.   Lust is just as powerful as love.  You can be in LUST with someone thinking that's ur perfect mate, only to find, they were not the one. 

My standards for meeting the kids, prob surpasses any "normal" standard bc my Mom set the bar so high.  After being married for 23 years to the same man, she felt like NO ONE was EVER good enough to meet us.  Did we know she was dating? Yes. Did we ever meet them? No.  And...we never asked.  It was the unspoken rule.  We learned that respect was not only for adults but for kids.  My Mom respected us enough to not take us through whatever rollercoaster she was experiencing.  She knew that in time she would find the ONE and at that time, we would meet them. 

Yes, times have changed....and so has the definition of "meeting the kids". Is it ok for kids to meet ur friend? Yes.  Is it ok for ur kids to meet ur mate? No. Meeting means, hello...how are you...I am...blah blah blah.... MEETING means.... Teri....Alysha...this is "mate's name"....and immediately following they see more and more of that person on a regular basis.  They will either like them or dislike tthem...and either way, they ARE affected. 

There is NO time frame for the meeting....there is however, a time that you have to analyze when u plan to change the course of children's thoughts of you and their future view on relationships. I take that personal....and I choose carefully.  No one will be labeled as my mate unless Im ABSOLUTELY sure it is for the long run.  But hey...that's a day in the life of Ro....