Being stubborn is not always bad...

Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Your priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded like the king piece on the chess board of life. But too often we debate over piddling things, like were to change the oil in the car or the choice of restaurants. It's so unfortunate stubbornness comes as a standard feature with in most relationships. But this blog issue.... I bring to the woman that wants to wed .. The ones that pray for a husband, but have little clue of a man's role in the relationship.

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of respect, love and support. They are to help each other. A suitable helper with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. But, here lies the problem.... some women have a little doubt in God that are approaching the verge of chaos in the present day.

There are many contributing causes... but one I'm convinced most, for whatever reason, disrupt most relationships. I found root understanding in this verse... "like wise you husband, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered "~ Peter.

In this very brief verse, the finger squarely emphasizes on the man's responsibility prime role is that of intelligent leadership. God puts the responsibility of the man to exercise leadership within the home. This doesn't mean he's your daddy or your boss, but if you don't even respect him enough to allow him to influence you as a woman with the simple things like were to get oil changed in your car. Smh, how in hell will you ever choose to love him unconditionally. lol

You see.. If you can't respect a man's heart without monetary value, you won't ... truly ever love him ... as God have designed that very woman to be that suitable to helper. I want all lady's to know a Godfearing man won't ever ... yield his leadership, (thinking) that would fog the clear vision why he even fail in love with you... in the first place. He's not your daddy, but he should be able to influence his household ....and if not, he will soon ... distant you.

Let him love you as Jesus, so loved the church. Caring for the woman's well-being, and protecting her both physically and spiritually.

….. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.( Ephesians 5:22-24 ) As a married woman for the second time, I found new meaning in this scripture. Being raised in a two parent household for 23 years; only to spend my remaining time home under the direction of a single parent…. It made me question “how”… How can someone exist for 23 years with their spouse, supporting and submitting to them, and end up with literally nothing? After all, the Bible says submit….not be stupid….

So…I began my journey in life as a young adult…on a mission to never be that “broken woman.” I was independent, humble and no nonsense. Eventually, the day came that I became “a wife.” I took my vows seriously…or so I thought… I supported my husband in all his endeavors, I boosted his ego, I took care of home…the kids…placing everyone before myself….”I” ran the household. And I let him know it. Needless to say, that marriage ended…..and guess what, I still ended up with literally nothing! Really?! I asked aloud, “Lord…why? I did everything….why?” As I waited for His answer…I began to study my Bible more….started to really receive the Word He was giving me. Amongst the things I learned about myself…was the answer…There is no “me” in marriage….I was to become one with my spouse….and HE was to be Head of the Household…

….I swallowed my humble pie….made the changes I needed to make…and got married again. It started rocky…things were…(to me) far more difficult than the first. He did things “I” didn’t approve of…he said things “I” didn’t like…and he moved the household in the direction “I” didn’t wanna go. You already know, I fought him on it….lol But God stepped in and reminded me “order”…..reminded me that he was only doing as the Bible instructed. As hard as it was…I submitted to my husband….We prayed together…we communicated…and we overcame obstacles that only GOD could fix. I was often told that I was becoming weak…that I shouldn’t have to go to my husband for simple decisions….and as quickly as the words were spoken, they were shut down…

I said all that to say…women submit to your husband. Love him, support him, pray with him and for him….Do what aligns with the Word of God. You may not always understand…but trust that what God allows is always perfect!

Time Vs. Relationships: Is there a Balance?

How much time should a couple be spending together while dating?

Your relationships should always benefit and enhance your life. If you're doing worse in school because you stay up all night talking on the phone, your relationship may be out of balance. If you're consistently late to work because you want to spend every last second with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you may need to step back and reevaluate how much time you spend together.

You may want to curb how much time you spend on the phone, which could be tough when you first meet. Extended calls can eat up massive amounts of your time. Make sure your calls are balanced with the rest of your life. In addition, don't let a relationship cause you to miss out on other important opportunities or activities, don't miss out on the other relationship in your life. If your family and friends suddenly become nonentities in your daily life, you're missing out on some valuable companionship.

Balance all the aspects of your life.... because a boyfriend or girlfriend can't be everything for you. The key to the balance... is that all your relationships should always benefit and enhance your life... if you balance the time you spend on your relationship with the time you spend on other things, you'll fine yourself even keeled. Then if it happen to not workout, you won't have compromised your other relationships or goals.

Mista's 13 secret: You'll also place greater value on your time together if you don't have as much of it. You'll look forward to each moment you get to spend with each other instead of taking it for granted... if you don't believe me ask, RO.... our friendship struggled in this area in the beginning....

Being a single mother, my time is very limited.  Working a full-time job, (that I commute 45 minutes to everyday) taking care of home, and raising two girls doesn't give me much wiggle room when it comes to time.  It seems that almost every second of my day is consumed.  No matter how I try to "reorganize" my schedule, there is NEVER enough time in the day. First one up, last one to sleep....lol...I need a clone...and chances are, my clone will need one too.  :) ...okay...I digress.

I haven't dated much since I've been single. Mostly because I don't really have the time to invest into making a relationship work. I don't believe in bringing new "potentials" around my girls bc if it doesn't work, I don't wanna have to explain why he's no longer around. Sounds crazy...but I feel like it's necessary.  (we blogged about that in MEET the KIDS)

To create to balance, u first have to have communication. So....in order for ur mate or potential mate to determine if he/she can handle how much time ur able to give, they have to know what's going on in ur life!!! Plain and simple.

Most my relationships are based on texting. Texting is not only my preferred form of communication, it's the most convenient. Im not saying I don't like to talk....bc I do...it's just that texting comes in handy when Im doing a thousand things with a thousand people....and it lets the other person know that YES Im hearing u and you are important too. Those that can relate---well...those that WANT to relate-- they stick around...others, they bounce...(Kanye shrug)...it is what it is. Do I make time for visits? Yes... Do I make time for phone calls? Yes... But it's not something that always happens.  Im a MOTHER first, so, my girls take priority....I know some of you won't agree...and that's cool....Im just saying what applies to ME.

Mista understands...kmsl...and could probably tell you some stories...touch and go phone calls, threatening the kids in the middle of a phone conversation, calling right back turning into calling days later...lol Still, he understands.  If you have the time to invest into ur mate/friendship, by all means.....DO IT.  I would love to have the balance of work, home, kids and the mate...it just doesn't work for me.

My recommendation is this: Strategize (know ur priorities and give them all order) Communicate (keep ur person in the loop) and Finalize ( u know what needs to be done, uve communicated it to ur person, and now u work towards BALANCE...) Remember: There's only ONE you.