Being stubborn is not always bad...

Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Your priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded like the king piece on the chess board of life. But too often we debate over piddling things, like were to change the oil in the car or the choice of restaurants. It's so unfortunate stubbornness comes as a standard feature with in most relationships. But this blog issue.... I bring to the woman that wants to wed .. The ones that pray for a husband, but have little clue of a man's role in the relationship.

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of respect, love and support. They are to help each other. A suitable helper with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. But, here lies the problem.... some women have a little doubt in God that are approaching the verge of chaos in the present day.

There are many contributing causes... but one I'm convinced most, for whatever reason, disrupt most relationships. I found root understanding in this verse... "like wise you husband, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered "~ Peter.

In this very brief verse, the finger squarely emphasizes on the man's responsibility prime role is that of intelligent leadership. God puts the responsibility of the man to exercise leadership within the home. This doesn't mean he's your daddy or your boss, but if you don't even respect him enough to allow him to influence you as a woman with the simple things like were to get oil changed in your car. Smh, how in hell will you ever choose to love him unconditionally. lol

You see.. If you can't respect a man's heart without monetary value, you won't ... truly ever love him ... as God have designed that very woman to be that suitable to helper. I want all lady's to know a Godfearing man won't ever ... yield his leadership, (thinking) that would fog the clear vision why he even fail in love with you... in the first place. He's not your daddy, but he should be able to influence his household ....and if not, he will soon ... distant you.

Let him love you as Jesus, so loved the church. Caring for the woman's well-being, and protecting her both physically and spiritually.

….. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.( Ephesians 5:22-24 ) As a married woman for the second time, I found new meaning in this scripture. Being raised in a two parent household for 23 years; only to spend my remaining time home under the direction of a single parent…. It made me question “how”… How can someone exist for 23 years with their spouse, supporting and submitting to them, and end up with literally nothing? After all, the Bible says submit….not be stupid….

So…I began my journey in life as a young adult…on a mission to never be that “broken woman.” I was independent, humble and no nonsense. Eventually, the day came that I became “a wife.” I took my vows seriously…or so I thought… I supported my husband in all his endeavors, I boosted his ego, I took care of home…the kids…placing everyone before myself….”I” ran the household. And I let him know it. Needless to say, that marriage ended…..and guess what, I still ended up with literally nothing! Really?! I asked aloud, “Lord…why? I did everything….why?” As I waited for His answer…I began to study my Bible more….started to really receive the Word He was giving me. Amongst the things I learned about myself…was the answer…There is no “me” in marriage….I was to become one with my spouse….and HE was to be Head of the Household…

….I swallowed my humble pie….made the changes I needed to make…and got married again. It started rocky…things were…(to me) far more difficult than the first. He did things “I” didn’t approve of…he said things “I” didn’t like…and he moved the household in the direction “I” didn’t wanna go. You already know, I fought him on it….lol But God stepped in and reminded me “order”…..reminded me that he was only doing as the Bible instructed. As hard as it was…I submitted to my husband….We prayed together…we communicated…and we overcame obstacles that only GOD could fix. I was often told that I was becoming weak…that I shouldn’t have to go to my husband for simple decisions….and as quickly as the words were spoken, they were shut down…

I said all that to say…women submit to your husband. Love him, support him, pray with him and for him….Do what aligns with the Word of God. You may not always understand…but trust that what God allows is always perfect!

Lust...Love...and Being in Love: Part III of the Series on Love

I reach…deep into his soul…invading the darkness…replacing it with light.  I see…the bars surrounding his heart…the veins shackled down…struggling to break free. I look…for the key…for some form of release…of the pain he must feel…and…I cannot imagine him bearing it all alone. He is…my personal rubix cube…teasing and testing my brain beyond his limits…. Because…I want to…defeat him…defeat the battle within him…I want him to know that…He is…perfect in every way. I want US to…accept together…that WE don’t walk in anyone else’s shadows…He is the bone and I am the flesh….so we only exist as ONE.

That poem is a true depiction of how being in love really feels… being in love has no boundaries. You will go to the ends of the Earth only to return and go again. YOUR person will never fall because you are there to catch them. They are your world. That’s how you know when you are IN LOVE.

Is there a difference between, LOVE and being IN LOVE? Absolutely. Love…you are capable of walking away… In Love…no matter what that person says or does, u will never leave. You can love someone and hurt them…but truly being in love with someone, you will hurt before they do….and that’s truth.

…..it’s a process. The first time you lay eyes on someone….u LUST for them. You want them in ur space. You want to explore every inch of their body…you want to fulfill their EVERY SEXUAL need…  Then, as time progresses and you begin to spend time with them, …..you begin to LOVE. U appreciate not only their body but their mind.  U want to learn more about them as a person…..still…at any point and time, u can walk away.  This is where most relationships end. And finally, you fall IN LOVE. You love everything about them…mind, body and soul.  They make you feel complete. You cannot imagine life without them.  THIS feeling, is a feeling u will never forget. Even when one of you leaves this Earth…this love will never fail.

I hope you enjoyed our series on Love.  We try to bring u topics and present them to u where we talk TO YOU, not AT YOU. And…as long as you keep reading…we’ll keep bringing it.



IN LOVE.. hmph!! What we read, hear, and watch seems to fall so short of what true love really is. As a young baby, I enter the world with much love bestowed on me by my parents and grandparents. Although they made such a fuss over us as babies and gave us so much attention, somewhere along the way we seemed to lose grasp of the concept of committing to love no matter what.

Through the years we've gone from a decision to love to a feeling of love. Think of it like a child is born... and even though the child has only been in this world for a moment.... the love is unconditional from the moment the mother and child lay eyes on each other... would you agree. But yet we have lost our focus with confusing signals regarding love.... we fall in and out of love..... we can give it a trial run... smh no wonder we're confused when we get real serious about true love.

Mista's cry is that love is much more than a warm puppy. It is an unselfish decision to love and honor your commitment to another person and to God... IN .. is Action.. So get to work, because in love isn't something you fall in, but something you do on purpose daily..

Innocent and Nonpretentious

She delights in the little things without studying to be sophisticated and controlled. She's simply who she is with no apologies. Refreshingly honest and transparent. She hasn't learned the art of masking her feelings yet, lol or may be she's not good at it, so no guessing games are played. She's not ashamed of her tears and can giggle with amusement at the silliest things. She's unreserved with her affections.

Forgiving. Believing all things. Forever hopeful. Playful. She feels so rich with the simplest pleasures. Easily pleased. Uncomplicated. Amusing, enchanting, magical, experimental, curious.... open to the endless possibilities of life. She dares to dream lofty dreams, never quenching them. And when she gives herself to a hug, she revels in it. And to think .... this was from meeting her once.

A woman should keep a healthy portion of these attributes in her life and allow them to flavor the essence of who she is. Why? Because inside every Mista ... there's a KING and a Kid in every man.... who still likes to play. To tease, to poke, to be mischievous, all while sharing ice cream. Who still enjoys a good wrestling match, whether physical or mental in a blog.... BOY meets Girl... that's where the greatest romances have always begun.

Thinking what.... ME of the blog thinks, RO's opinion "where romance starts"?....

Ro is a hopeless romantic. I believe romance starts with the heart and ends in the soul.  Romance is spontaneous and fun...it's NOT work.(except in the sheets...kmsl...and even then it's not really work but a pleasure)....Romance requires no thought bc if it's real, the thought process flows as smooth as a rub on a man's freshly shaved head...

Such a rush I get from being romanced....from being romantic...it's easy to get caught up in the moment...and not just a moment of pure ecstasy...but the adrenaline I feel knowing that I have TOTAL control of that person's mind.

Romance does not "just happen." And...It's not just physical...It can be mental. As your mate he or she should be respectful....respectful to your mind (allowing you to voice ur thoughts and opinions)...respectful to your body (even though they have made claims it is theirs, there is a time where it is YOURS and yours alone)...and respectful to your person (he believes in you...supports you...communicates with you..worships with you and loves you AS IS).

Once these things come into play...Romance A.P.P.E.A.R.S. (A Prayer of a Person Especially After Resentment Subsides) and remains....the simple things become delights bc even the thought of that person you begin to feel things you never felt before.

....so yea...that's Ro's opinion of Romance...

What's the Speed Limit of Love?

The Mista and I agreed to take turns initiating the posts of the blog. We play around with topics--some of which we agree; others of which we agree to disagree. (He's bossy- shhhhhh lol) It's really HIS TURN to start, and he's probably gonna fuss, BUT, we had a conversation last night that has really peaked my interest. LOVE. ---sorry Mista :)

According to the Bible:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Self explanatory right? Well...why is it that society uses love as an adjective to describe the actual ACT of love? Why do we (yes I said we) use the word interchangeably with "like"....and the two words stretch to different sides of definition?
Which brings me to this question?

What's the speed limit of love? .......... I mean, at what point do u say u love someone? Should you remain in first gear for weeks or months or even years before the "love" word is used? Honestly? If I met you today, and tomorrow I said, (insert name), "I love you." Would you look at me like Im crazy, stop responding to my text (or whatever form of communication we are using) or would u say, "I love you too."
Love is powerful...and defined...and rare. And knowing that, how do we handle it? Do we make it limited to the speed limit to avoid accidents? Or...do we push it past its limits and face it head on?
Mista seems to think......well....I'll let him give his thoughts....A Couple That Thinks....how fitting.


Mista's Lessons Learned

I've come to understand that people these days always in love with this person or that. Always with the love song about how theirs going to last forever. Obsessed with it..... always chasing it, but  never catching up, but funny they seem to always find sex along the way. Love is not merely a emotion, but an action. Not some infatuation of merely what they see and like based on erotic passion for their mate. But a love idea...... that's love action is a selfless love of the ultimate commitment for Oneness. "Agape"

*Do you typically only express kindness and affection to your mate when feel like they earned it? Or do you faithfully love even when they least deserves it? (unconditional love with conditions)

The bottom line is Mista want the same thing RoW want ... love. Someone who loves him enough to be patient and kind, to rejoice and celebrate their accomplishments. He don't want someone who is critical and touchy, suspicious and accusing. There is no room for insecurity in love. Love doesn't jump to imaginary conclusions.Though it is realistic, it always hopes for the best and is courageous enough to believe object of its affections. Love makes a woman a lady. It nurtures trust and sets a man's heart at rest because true love is faithful and loyal. It doesn't compete with the beloved, but promotes him to be the best that he can beloved.

In turn, she reap all of the rewards for successes. He, in turn, feels like a king and crowns her Queen. Let him know the best thing about your love is that it grows. It is flexible. It is able to withstand storms and controversy. But most of all, it overcomes all things, including your own fears.

So how do we do that? The standard Jesus set us seems too hard to do, far too high to reach. That's  because it is. The key to loving like Jesus is to understand that we cannot do it on our own. God Himself must become our never ending source of love. And He is more than able to do....

What's the speed limit of love? NOW... through us what we cannot be ourselves. SO, WHAT IF YOU BEGAN TO PRAY, "LORD, LOVE HIM/HER THROUGH ME!! IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE HONORING. IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE LOVING. AND IT WOULD MAKE ME MORE FAITHFUL. "That's Mista's 13 cents "