Being stubborn is not always bad...

Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Your priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded like the king piece on the chess board of life. But too often we debate over piddling things, like were to change the oil in the car or the choice of restaurants. It's so unfortunate stubbornness comes as a standard feature with in most relationships. But this blog issue.... I bring to the woman that wants to wed .. The ones that pray for a husband, but have little clue of a man's role in the relationship.

The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be one of respect, love and support. They are to help each other. A suitable helper with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. But, here lies the problem.... some women have a little doubt in God that are approaching the verge of chaos in the present day.

There are many contributing causes... but one I'm convinced most, for whatever reason, disrupt most relationships. I found root understanding in this verse... "like wise you husband, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered "~ Peter.

In this very brief verse, the finger squarely emphasizes on the man's responsibility prime role is that of intelligent leadership. God puts the responsibility of the man to exercise leadership within the home. This doesn't mean he's your daddy or your boss, but if you don't even respect him enough to allow him to influence you as a woman with the simple things like were to get oil changed in your car. Smh, how in hell will you ever choose to love him unconditionally. lol

You see.. If you can't respect a man's heart without monetary value, you won't ... truly ever love him ... as God have designed that very woman to be that suitable to helper. I want all lady's to know a Godfearing man won't ever ... yield his leadership, (thinking) that would fog the clear vision why he even fail in love with you... in the first place. He's not your daddy, but he should be able to influence his household ....and if not, he will soon ... distant you.

Let him love you as Jesus, so loved the church. Caring for the woman's well-being, and protecting her both physically and spiritually.

….. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.( Ephesians 5:22-24 ) As a married woman for the second time, I found new meaning in this scripture. Being raised in a two parent household for 23 years; only to spend my remaining time home under the direction of a single parent…. It made me question “how”… How can someone exist for 23 years with their spouse, supporting and submitting to them, and end up with literally nothing? After all, the Bible says submit….not be stupid….

So…I began my journey in life as a young adult…on a mission to never be that “broken woman.” I was independent, humble and no nonsense. Eventually, the day came that I became “a wife.” I took my vows seriously…or so I thought… I supported my husband in all his endeavors, I boosted his ego, I took care of home…the kids…placing everyone before myself….”I” ran the household. And I let him know it. Needless to say, that marriage ended…..and guess what, I still ended up with literally nothing! Really?! I asked aloud, “Lord…why? I did everything….why?” As I waited for His answer…I began to study my Bible more….started to really receive the Word He was giving me. Amongst the things I learned about myself…was the answer…There is no “me” in marriage….I was to become one with my spouse….and HE was to be Head of the Household…

….I swallowed my humble pie….made the changes I needed to make…and got married again. It started rocky…things were…(to me) far more difficult than the first. He did things “I” didn’t approve of…he said things “I” didn’t like…and he moved the household in the direction “I” didn’t wanna go. You already know, I fought him on it….lol But God stepped in and reminded me “order”…..reminded me that he was only doing as the Bible instructed. As hard as it was…I submitted to my husband….We prayed together…we communicated…and we overcame obstacles that only GOD could fix. I was often told that I was becoming weak…that I shouldn’t have to go to my husband for simple decisions….and as quickly as the words were spoken, they were shut down…

I said all that to say…women submit to your husband. Love him, support him, pray with him and for him….Do what aligns with the Word of God. You may not always understand…but trust that what God allows is always perfect!

You Need To Know Who You Are

Most find it easy to list what they want in a mate!! However, what about your own qualities? What traits do you have that will help you contribute to a successful relationship? What type of husband or wife will you be? Do you freely admit your mistakes and accept advice, or are you always defensive when corrected? Are you generally cheerful and optimistic, or do you tend to be gloomy, frequently complaining? Marriage will not change your personality. If you are proud, oversensitive, or overly pessimistic when single, you will be the same when married.

To marry without a strong sense of self worth and personal identity means that you will spend your life trying to become somebody, usually by attaching yourself to your spouse's identity. If your spouse also has an identity problem, then you have double trouble. You need to know who you are and be secure and complete and whole within yourself before you get married. If you know who you are .. if you have a good self-image.. you won't need anyone in order to be someone. Then you will have prepared well for the fourth love from the original language of the christian Greek scriptures, the word for this fourth kind of love is AGAPE; an unselfish concern for doing to others what is right and good from HIS standpoint, whether the recipient appears to deserve it or not..

Sometimes it’s just the little slights and daily agitation thoughts of ignoring that need forgiveness, the occasional sharp word or angry accusation. But we harbor it, let it eat at us, and build up bitterness and resentment which erodes our relationship. There is no way to avoid it. But every time they do, we must first remind ourselves that we really did forgive, then rehearse how much God has forgiven us, then ask Him to take the destructive, unforgiving thoughts out of our minds. A strong relationship will be strong enough to survive just about any challenge even distance. So if you discover your relationship can't survive a period of living far apart, don't feel too bad. As much as it may hurt to admit it, it's probably better to move on. Remember that your wedding lasts just one day but your marriage lasts a lifetime..

Well Mista...my few cents on this issue is this:

If you are true to SELF and you present urself that way, it is the option of the person interested to ACCEPT or REJECT you. Marriage or commitment is secondary bc how can you make anyone else happy if you aren't happy with urself?

So many people get caught up with changing bc they want to view themselves through the eyes of "relationship status" and not through the "real view" which is SELF. If you do that at the beginning, there's really no need to change or attach urself to anyone else.

YOUR perfect mate accepts you....flaws and all. They know WHO you are and WHOSE you are...and respects you in all those aspects. PERIOD.